


memories (that cut like knives)

by ninejs



Series: Moments [6]
Category: Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X & Final Fantasy X-2, Final Fantasy X-2
Genre: F/M, Instrospective, Parental Auron as always, Rikku-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 12:09:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4478744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninejs/pseuds/ninejs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rikku's reason for not going into the Farplane is a simple tale of a girl worried about an idiot of a boy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	memories (that cut like knives)

**Author's Note:**

> what is this ??? a thing that i wrote today that i actually sort of like ???  
> amazing.  
> i saw this post on tumblr and i was like. nO. that's so SAD. and now i have adopted the headcanon and wrote this. 
> 
> i'm not even sure about how i feel about this literally everything i've written today i've just backspaced lmao

"Memories are nice, but that's all they are." 

Rikku inwardly scoffs at her own statement. For someone who seems so adamant about memories being memories, she's certainly had her fair share of wishing that her memories were happening in the present time. But even so, that wishful remembrance of a boy is still just a memory - and as she had said, memories are just memories. He could be long gone, now, departed to the Farplane, and if she was a Yevonite, that would be a comforting thought.

But Rikku is no Yevonite, and even if she had been, the concept of a peaceful respite would offer no kind of comfort towards her panicked state.

"Why did you not go with them?" the old man, Auron, asks from behind her. For a moment, Rikku had forgotten that he had even been there - she didn't even realize that she wasn't the only one who hadn't gone with the others to the Farplane.

"Are you afraid someone you don't want to see will be there?" 

Rikku does not answer his questions - that yes, but she's more than scared, she's  _terrified_ that her stupid idiot of a first love will have been killed off in a battle and she didn't have a chance to say goodbye to him. That she never had a chance to tell him what he truly meant to her, that he didn't have to go out and join the Crimson Squad the first chance he got - after all, he was barely even old enough to, why didn't he just wait a few years?

Rikku fears that the stupid idiot will have gone and gotten himself killed without her being able to yell at him one last time. 

So, instead of answering Auron's question truthfully, she lets out a sigh.

"And how did you know that?" she asks, deflecting his question. 

"You're easy to read," he replies, but Rikku really just thinks that it might just have something to do with the fact that he's grown too perceptive in all his years. The conversation, or at least the semblance of it, ends after that.

Rikku has nothing else to say, because she's too wrapped up in flashbacks and stupid memories of all the trouble she and that boy had gotten into, of the way they had known each other so well and had been so close. Well, until the night he had left to join the Crimson Squad, because apparently she wasn't worth a face-to-face goodbye, although his short letter to her explaining his departure had stated the opposite - ' _too hard to do this_   _face-to-face_ ' it had read, and at that, Rikku had wanted to burn the piece of parchment.

Too _hard_ to say goodbye to her face-to-face, huh? Sounded like a bunch of bull to her, but in the years since he had left Home, she had grown rather cynical, especially about him and his stupid way of saying goodbye. 

Even in all her anger, Rikku couldn't say she wasn't bothered by the notion that he could be dead. In fact, if she found out that was the truth, she knew she'd be shattered by it - probably too emotionally weak to continue on her journey of protecting Yuna. And no matter what, that couldn't happen. So, instead of easing the question growing in her heart, and her head, too, she stayed outside. _  
_

If she had any faith left in her idiot of ex-boyfriend — she had plenty, in fact — she'd continue to believe he wouldn't let himself get killed. And maybe by the end of her journey to protect Yunie, he'd be back at Home and so would she. They have so much to talk about, really, and she still has to chew him out for his sad excuse of basically dumping her and saying goodbye.

(Most importantly, though, she has to let him know she still cares. A _lot_.)


End file.
